i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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