Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
