I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is the high leading the old right now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
