How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
