It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
