In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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