Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
