This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
