i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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