Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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