My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
