you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
