I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
