I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
