I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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