I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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