so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
