Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
