well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bring me that man meat
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
