I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
