forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
