Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
