would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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