Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
