They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this boner is exhausting
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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