last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
