So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize