I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
