HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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