Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
