summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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