omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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