i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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