turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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