You're so nebulous sometimes
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
