and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
