So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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