P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
