it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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