I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
