this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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