using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
