I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
