Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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