he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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