weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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