I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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