he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize