im six kinds of drunk right now
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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