Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize