btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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