just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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