I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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