She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
