non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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