I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he thought i was a dude.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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