Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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