i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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