I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
