i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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