It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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